Sandringham, Norfolk
Queen, cyclonic, incensed, mad at her grandson, wants to impale his wife, 2 to 4. Wealth, obscene.
Balmoral, Scotland
Prince Charles, becoming restless, 3 to 5, waiting for mother to bite the dust. Occasionally charming, prone to grandiosity. Becoming northwest 4 to 6. Coffee enemas becoming moderate, perhaps rough. Camilla administers them. Mental image, oh, so rough.
Clarence House, London
Duchess of Cambridge, moving southerly, 3 to 5, despairing, husband's bald. Looks into eyes of son, 4 to 7, occasionally noisy, worrisome of fate, westerly, moderate, becoming like father, hair implants.
Windsor Castle, Berkshire
Princess Anne, becoming thundery, owns horses, 5 to 7, stirrups need cleaning, moving westerly, mother calls, "Yes kweeeeeeeen?" Occasionally 7 later, moving North.
Highgrove House, Gloucestershire
Prince Andrew, gone south, 5 to 7, years in prison. Doesn't sweat.
Gale Warnings
Beatrice and Eugenie, spending tax payers money on multiple holidays per year. Warning, broken institution, warning, abolish.
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